It’s time for another installment of Dear Davey H in which I entertain questions people have on nutrition and other wellness topics. And let me tell you, questions are not easy to entertain. They have a very short attention span and problems understanding puns.
In this edition, a reader asks about the so-called Alkamind Cleanse.
Dear Davey H
I’m a thirty-year-old woman whose active and in generally good shape but I have some pain due to an old injury. I’m always up for trying something new and recently heard of something called the Alkamind cleanse or “Get off Your Acid.” This is a program that Kelly Ripa tried and she said it gave her more energy and made her feel great. It’s supposed to reduce pain and fight off all sorts of damage to the body. I bought into the 7-day cleanse but I’m now thinking I was sold a bill of goods. What do you think?
Dear Not Regis
Get off Your Acid? That’s all I need! Some other nutritionist getting in the lame-pun game.
If you can return your 7-day cleanse for a refund, I suggest you do. The Alkamind cleanse is one of a number of cleanses, detoxes and diets that work on the theory that we eat foods that cause too much acidity in our bodies and that to offset it we need foods that counteract that acid. Without going all Chem 101 on you, the way to counteract acidic substances is to use base substances also called alkaline. And this is the concept behind the Alkamind cleanse.
It sounds great. As a general population. we all eat too much meat, grain, sugar and processed foods and they all make our bodies more acidic. If we reduce how much of those foods we eat and replace them with foods that result in more alkaline by-products, we’ll counteract the damage done by the acid. Because, as your grandparents were told at Woodstock, some acid is not specifically too good.
As I was saying, this sounds great in theory but there’s no science behind this theory. “Science” doesn’t bother because “science” knows your body was custom designed to keep acid levels within a certain range. If your body fails in this endeavor, it encounters a problem that some people call “dying.”
However, you can’t deny that Kelly Ripa went on this cleanse and she felt great. I mean this is a woman who had to suffer the loss of both Regis and Michael Strahan yet she still feels great? It turns out, the Alkamind program has you doing many of the right things for all the wrong reasons. This approach has you eating fewer processed foods, removing simple carbohydrates from the diet and increasing your vegetable and fruit consumption. These are all things that will make most people feel great and it probably has nothing to do with acid.
So, no harm, right? Well, only to your wallet. You see for $97 you get a 30 day supply of daily green and mineral supplements as well as recipes, guides, Facebook access and some recordings. You can also purchase extra supplies like special kits to measure your acid level as it changes. That costs you another ten bucks.
When you look at the greens powder its full of superfoods (there’s that meaningless word again)! If you actually believe in those superfoods, you can get a high-quality greens powder for about twenty-five dollars. And the mineral powder is basically sodium bicarbonate magnesium and potassium. Take a multivitamin and tums it and you’ve got the same thing and more for just seventeen bucks.
Better yet, invest your money in real fruits and vegetables and get a better tasting version of the greens and mineral powder. Because despite the advancement of science, we’ve yet to invent a Greens Powder that doesn’t taste like ass.
Finally, that fancy test kit they sell for ten bucks is nothing more than a set of litmus strips that you can buy for two bucks. Or, use the ones you swiped from your Chem 101 lab. With the money you save you can buy a copy of The Karma Sense Eating Plan, be happier, be healthier, save the world, get all the same advice on improving your diet on the Karma Sense Wellness Facebook Page, help out Alice’s Kids and have money leftover for one of the many other products that Kelly Ripa endorses. Such as Jiff Chocolate Hazelnut Spread. She does really endorse it and our buying it will make her feel great.
So, Not Regis, when it comes to cleanses like “Get Off Your Acid” from Alkamind, I say…nevermind.